This should not be news

"'So what else do you
want to know about me?' is
not conversation.

-Anonymous

First comes love...

He proposed marriage
a ring, a car, and a house
on first date. For reals.

-Robyn

No one is that hot.

"I'm so hot, I don't
have to leave my neighborhood
for dates." I'll pass, thanks.

-Anonymous

Bittersweet

Lying on the grass
Eating cherries, sharing tales
Wish he weren't leaving

-Anonymous

Perfect opportunity for the lemon law

trying to be nice
made me miss my booty call
please shut up now, dude.

-anonymous

A unisex problem

started to go down
the odor was terrible
be clean to enjoy

-anonymous

I love having guys try to eat my face off.

It was our fourth date and our first kiss. Sadly our styles just didn't mesh: ex. I prefer that a guy not try to eat my face off.

-Anonymous

No. It's not.

"I'm only 5'6
but I have good posture so
it's like I'm 5'8."

 -Anonymous

Does anyone have good eHarmony experiences?

Funny profile, but

in person he's so awkward 

eHarmony fail 

-J

SoberSingleDC

Lame poetry does not help.

Guy, via text: "Roses are red, violets are blue. Your reaction's a shame, 'cause I really liked you."

-Anonymous

Turned it all around

Ready to release
failed first date into the wild.
Then we kissed. Yowza!


-Robyn

tick...tock....

i like your profile
think we might make cute babies
i'm almost thirty

-anonymous

Oops

"Not sick -- swear to God!"

I gave my word, and a kiss...

He woke up with strep.

(I'm an asshole.)

-Katie

DateMeDC

At least wear cowboy boots if you're going to do that

Why do men add height
to profiles?  I can see you;
five nine you are not

-J
SoberSingleDC

It probably wouldn't be polite to laugh if you were the rabbi

Pretty rabbi talks
try to make good impression
oops, I split my pants.

-Anonymous 


Equally embarrassing moments? Share in the comments or send to datebrief at gmail dot com!

Protip: Only say you used to be awkward if you're no longer awkward.

"I used to be so
awkward. No sense of humor."
Nothing's changed, I see.

-Anonymous

What are you, four?

"Can you drive me the
two blocks home? I have to pee!"
Um, seriously?

-Anonymous

...but you're going to have to cast Wingardium Leviosa on my wand

We're at a Harry Potter premiere and you spent all day putting together your Hermione costume. The sex had better be f***ing magical.

-Anonymous

Classy. Very classy.

Getting hit on by sketchy drunk guys in front of my date made for a surprisingly awesome date.

-Anonymous

But everyone has unlimited texts

Separate text to wink?
I have limited texts, man.
Also you're a creep.

-Anonymous

The two hours after that were just an expensive free dinner

For me, the date ended when he asked me in total seriousness, “Why do you want to learn Spanish?  It’s not like you’ll be working in California…”

-Anonymous

An enigma

Who spends a combined 10 hours on two dates with someone, given multiple outs, if they're going to dodge on the third date?

-Anonymous

I wish this existed

Nothing says lemon law like overenthusiasm in the first 30 seconds, especially when you're yelling at me with that thick New York accent.

-Anonymous

Newsflash: That does not make you special.

Me: Why should I go out with you again?
Him: Depends. Do u like that I think ur sexy?

-Anonymous

Stage 5 clinger

Twenty texts per day:
"So how's your day going...now?"
We've been on one date!

-Anonymous

Important lesson

When the shy, Republican, Evangelical Christian girl you think just wants to be friends proposes a L Word marathon at your place, never turn her down.

-Clyde
http://twitter.com/#!/clydeiii
http://benjiesque.livejournal.com/

The Gentleman, in two parts

We were at the bar
He offered to buy a drink
He proposed 'water'

I declined his kiss
I wasn't dropped off at home
Even though he drove
 




-Anonymous

What a gentleman

Guy said he wanted to take me out to dinner.  When the check came, he
asked if we could split it.  Then he emailed me the next day to see if
he could take me out to dinner AGAIN.

-A Single Girl

I'm sorry, I didn't realize my number was the same as the cab company

Hours before second date. Him: Can you pick me up from the Metro on the way? Me: Sure, but how will you get home? Him: You can drop me off.

-Katey
Dancing through DC

Better to find out early

Turns out he prefers

Wheel of Fortune over Jeop.--

We’re not meant to be.

-Anonymous

I'd be worried about falling asleep myself!

A married couple,
Date night starts at nine o'clock.
Hope the kids don't wake...

-Tom
BootLeGsampler

If wishes were horses...oh wait, that's what she's asking for.

Oh, God -- he's SO tall!
Six-six, and my only thought:
"Be proportionate!"

-Katie
Date me, DC!

"You're so pretty, let's look at scantily-clad other women!"

Been dating a guy for 6 weeks. We had dinner and after he suggested we meet some of his friends at a bar. Said bar was a strip club.

-A Single Girl

You don't like awkward silence?

Awkward silences

Filled up most of dinner.  Yes,

“let’s do that again.”

-Anonymous

Are we surprised?

Excellent date. Over-the-knee boots were an unqualified success.

-Anonymous

Well, in that case...

him: "you want anything?"
me: "thanks, but i'm fine."
him: "you sure? the price is right - i'm paying."

-Anonymous